My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and seven of those married. We got married on 07/07/07. We support each other 150 percent. We have fun. We are a modern-day Sonny & Cher. I don’t sing. My wife sings. We’re so different, but so alike. We got that ying and yang thing going on. You see it, but you don’t know how it works.

My mother is old, but she jokes around. She lives in a senior living home. After a certain age some people don’t like joking. They take her sarcasm the wrong way. I get that from my family. Everybody talks over each other. The first time I took my wife to my family reunion, she said, “I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t do this!”

My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she’s not, I eat meat. I’m just being honest.

A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop criticizing him and trying to improve him.

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife’s ear.

It were better to be a soldier’s widow than a coward’s wife

My first priority is to my wife, as hers is to me, and to our child.

At home, I have a wife, fortunately, and my children are all grown, and I have many grandchildren. I spend weekends with my grandchildren; I adore them.

What’s wrong with you? Are you ill? I forbid you to be ill, wife.

My attachment to my wedding ring is a powerful symbol of the infinite love that I have for my wife and children.

Even when someone introduced the women as someone’s daughter or wife, they maintained a distance. With the advent of selfies, people now want to click with all the touching, coming so close.

One might say I have decided to marry the silence of the forest. The sweet dark warmth of the whole world will have to be my wife

Whenever a husband and a wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner’s inquest.

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

With wine and food, the confidence of my own table, and the necessity of reassuring my wife, I grew by insensible degrees courageous and secure.

If you leave your wife and you don’t ever contact her again, that says something about how you felt about the marriage.

I was at one time a football wife, and there is a certain level of bonding that happens between women who are the wives of football players.

On 3 things in his bucket list: On my bucket list… Uhm, the question is totally catching me by surprise. Some more travel, spending quality time with my family and just getting the most I can out of my wife and daughter.

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

She rose to His requirement, dropped the playthings of her life to take the honorable work of woman and of wife.

I could lie and say my wife cooks for me, but she doesn’t. My wife has never learnt cooking but she has great cooks at home.

I still dream of simple life Boy meets girl, makes her his wife But love don’t exist When you live like this That much I know

My wife once said that one of her great ambitions was to walk down the streets of Hong Kong with her children. So we all went to Asia on one occasion. Then she said she’d like to walk down the streets of Jerusalem with her children. So we arranged our family finances and all went to Jerusalem.

I’m married, and my wife has set out very limited Xbox limits. But if I had my druthers, I’d be playing all the time and never see any of my friends or do any work.

My wife, a schoolteacher, very disciplined. If you think I’m tough, trust me, and wait till you see when the children are on the naughty step. It’s hilarious. So we decided that I’m going to work like a donkey and provide amazing support for the family.

Caesar’s wife should be above suspicion.

I was raised by strong women, and that DNA is in my daughter and wife.

Son, when the Marine Corps wants you to have a wife, you will be issued one.

He told his wife I’m truly sorry to distress you, but I’m not going with you to church this Christmas Eve.

Smile at each other. Smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other – it doesn’t matter who it is – and that will help to grow up in greater love for each other.

A man who has work that suits him and a wife, whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life.

That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he’s wise.That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he’s wise.

I’ve got incredible support from my wife and family and people around me. I’ve got great people around me who handle anything on the outside, business-wise, who help free me up to create in my job.

Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

One shouldn’t be too inquisitive in life Either about God’s secrets or one’s wife.

Ne nevere mo ne lakked hire pite; Tendre-herted, slydynge of corage; But trewely, I kan nat telle hire age.

I don’t know if my wife left me because of my drinking or I started drinking ’cause my wife left me.

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

It was weird to be married; you kind of lose your identity. You’re suddenly somebody’s wife. And you’re like, ‘Oh, I’m half of a couple now. I’ve lost me.’

My toughest fight was with my first wife.