My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she’s not, I eat meat. I’m just being honest.

Vegetarians have wicked, shifty eyes, and laugh in a cold calculating manner. They pinch little children, steal stamps, drink water, favor beards.

hen I was young, I would gorge on chicken. But for the last several years, I’ve been a pure vegetarian; I don’t even take egg.

I grew up in cattle country-that’s why I became a vegetarian. Meat stinks, for the animals, the environment, and your health.

I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

There’s no bigger pain anywhere in the world than a vegetarian.

Even if I were single, I could never maintain a relationship with a vegetarian. Their breath is just too smelly.

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?