As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it’s like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That’s what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.

I play golf – badly.

And I don’t really like golf. I know a lot of English footballers play, but I know that if I go with the club to play, sooner or later I will end up trying to smash the ball with my foot.

I love going to the Algarve and playing golf.

I love going to the Algarve and playing golf.

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays at golf. It’s almost a law.

The best thing about golf is ultimately what it teaches you about yourself. And the worst thing is how freakin’ nervous it can make you feel.

I am still trying to understand this game, … I am still learning how to play golf. There are a lot of shots I still don’t know. I am still trying to learn, and I think that’s a good attitude to have.

Yes, I applied a lot of what I did in football to golf.

New Zealand has a great reputation in America for golf.

The best quick tip in golf is to focus on your rhythm and balance.

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.