Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes.

You can’t be happy in a place like London when you don’t have money.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

Understand that you don’t know it all. You don’t know anything yet. What you’ve been taught is great, but always go with common sense. And don’t marry your first love.

Ah, yeah, nothing like putting your hard-earned paycheck in the hands of hormonal teens. That’s what I call living.

Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can’t see the stove.

There’s enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe.

Everything is mediated through the mind—translated, filtered, allegorized, twisted, even falsified by it. We are enveloped in a cloud of changing and endlessly shifting images

On being sent to prison for drink driving in 1984: ‘Well, I suppose that’s the knighthood f****d.

When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.