Smashing things is the violent way stupid mortal monkeys solve their problems.

I only became aware that my eyes had filled with tears when I noticed some commotion in the treetops, far off outside the perimeter wall. I blinked and looked again. There were monkeys out there fighting, screaming and pelting one another with rotten fruit.

I soon learned that humans can screech even louder than monkeys.

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Geniuses and supergeniuses always make their own rules about sex as on everything else; they do not accept the monkey customs of their lessers.

The probable fact is that we are descended not only from monkeys but from monks.

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.

Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.

The show business has all phases and grades of dignity, from the exhibition of a monkey to the exposition of that highest art in music or the drama which secures for the gifted secures a world wide fame princes well might envy.

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.