There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report! Run out and find me a four-year-old child, I can’t make head or tail of it.