The government taxes you when you bring home a paycheck. It taxes you when you make a phone call. It taxes you when you turn on a light. It taxes you when you sell a stock. It taxes you when you fill your car with gas. It taxes you when you ride a plane. It taxes you when you get married. Then it taxes you when you die. This is taxual insanity and it must end.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can’t they make a phone out of Tupperware?

My next course of action was to take my phone off the hook, because I kept getting obnoxious messages along the lines of, “Where’s that kidney?” and “You have to get to the hospital immediately!” and “He’s dead.

My phone doesn’t ring often – it makes me jump when it does – and it’s usually people asking if I’ve been mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance. I whisper I know where you live to them, and hang up the phone very, very gently.

Is Thom Yorke there? Oh he is? Well then how the can I be Thom Yorke, talking to you, right here, on the phone.

HeyHey is my favourite app. It’s like Instagram but for sound recordings, with little soundbites from people’s days. We spend far too much time looking down at our phones, so it’s nice to have your head up while you listen to what other people have uploaded.

They paid more to tap my phone than they paid me to run the Los Alamos Project.

I read in all forms: paper, computer, phone, audio.

Don’t feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone ‘Cause today I swear I’m not doing anything

Running started as a way of relaxing. It’s the only time I have to myself. No phones or e-mails or faxes.

I let people see the cracks in my life. We can’t be phony. We’ve got to keep it real.

And then there are some who believe that old relationships can be revived and made new again. but please if you feel that way don’t phone don’t write don’t arrive

I’m ouI’m out here tryna find someone/ So the ring on my phone, ring on my fingert here tryna find someone/ So the ring on my phone, ring on my finger

You want to be a writer? Start writing. You want to be a filmmaker? Start shooting stuff on your phone right now.

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

Like most people, you listen to yourself on the phone or an answering machine and you’re like, ‘Ugh.’ So to do something with just your voice is hard.

The opposite of being mindful is being unconscious, so don’t be unconscious all day on your phone.