When I was little I knew my father had been an orphan and had lived in an orphanage. I was curious, but my father wouldn’t satisfy my curiosity. He told only one story about the orphanage, and that was of sneaking out and buying candy, which he sold to other orphans. He said he had a pretty good business going – till he was busted! I guess he told that anecdote because he was the hero of it and I suspect he was rarely the hero as a child, more often the victim. There’s a photo of the actual orphanage on my website, and you can see it’s a forbidding looking place.

You can’t avoid orphan stories, child. Every story is an orphan story. We are all orphaned sooner or later.

We are the orphans of our son.

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.