Most of these pictures, taken while travelling, were developed on the mantelpiece of a hotel room, which proves that the method is easy enough to carry out.

There was this one time in Vegas when I took four Victoria’s Secret models and did one gram off each of their bodies within, like, 45 minutes. I declared myself King of Vegas and decided to remodel my hotel room with my bare hands to resemble King Louis XIV’s bedroom at Versailles. Knocked down two entire walls, and later had four knuckle surgeries. Still wasn’t as high as Rob Ford.

I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.