just need some time to think,” I say. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hesitate. “I’m sorry about tonight.” Before she can answer, I hang up. The ache that has been building for hours is now painful. When Simon and I used to feel this way after Mamma died, we would run cross-country and back. The hills. The steps. The shadows of the walls. We would run until we were buckled over, heaving on the ground, cooling ourselves in the overspray of the fountains. I close my eyes. Give him back to me, Lord. I need my brother. I