Why is it there are so many more horses’ asses than there are horses?

One of the biggest lies in the world is that crime doesn’t pay. Of course, crime pays.

You can’t kill ideas. But you can sure shoot the people who hold them.

If the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms insists upon a firefight, give them a firefight. Just remember, they’re wearing flak jackets and you’re better off shooting for the head.

If you’re not a target, you’re a failure.

Three people can keep a secret as long as two of them are dead.

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

The trick is in not minding.

Obviously crime pays, or there’d be no crime.

I became what I wanted to be.

Defeat the fear of death and you welcome the death of fear.

The government should be limited to its proper role, which is to protect our rights and ensure the rule of law.

The government is not your friend. The government is an entity that wants to control you, that wants to tell you what to do, that wants to take away your freedoms.

I believe in the right to bear arms. I believe in the right to defend yourself. And I believe that government has no business interfering with those rights.

I’m proud to be called a conservative. I believe in limited government, strong national defense, and personal responsibility.

The Democratic Party is a bunch of sheep herding voters and a bunch of spoiled intellectuals who don’t have the nerve to do anything.

Environmentalism is a form of pagan fundamentalism. These green wackos are fanatics like al-Quaida. Just like them.

The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic – just one of those unfortunate things.

I’m virile, vigorous, and potent!

Take, for example, the African jungle, the home of the cheetah. On whom does the cheetah prey? The old, the sick, the wounded, the weak, the very young, but never the strong. Lesson: If you would not be prey, you had better be strong.

The official version of Watergate is as wrong as a Flat Earth Society pamphlet.